He
loves me, he loves me not. He loves me,
he loves me not.
High
school life was full of fun and moments.
Friends, here, there and everywhere. No pressure,
no competition or perhaps envy.
Just the bonding moments of togetherness. It was full of memories now treasured in the
locker of my heart. Wow, moments of care free beyond compare plus the
house hopping with friends.
When
alone, I picked daisies and sat in a
corner, plucked the petals one by one and
chanted, “He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me,
he loves me not.” And when the
last petal ended up with he loves me, I
shouted for joy! Why did it makes me happy if someone loves me? Is loving someone not suffice?
As
I grow older gracefully, I realized that
love was there, always been there, no matter what happened. It has long been there even before you met
the “right” person. Love remains
forever, it is just the lovers that changes along with time. Change is permanent and people changes too
and learn to let go and move on. Then you learn to be the right person for your
lover.
Love
is a wondrous feeling beyond compare or beyond measure. Love has meaning only if
you share it with someone you love, take
note, “someone you love.” Not necessarily if the “someone” loves you or
not. What matters is “what you are when
you are with someone you love.” What you
become out of loving the person or what feelings you feel, feelings that you never felt before. It is self-centered. It is “you”,
what you feel, what you become
and what you think at the moment. Why
you smile with no reason? Simply because
you love and you love yourself for loving someone. And if someone you love, loves you back, consider it a bonus or a gift worth to
treasure.
Why
do I cry when the man I love no longer loves
me. Why do I feel sad if the man of my dream is already happy with
other being or probably committed or just left for whatever reason? Why does it hurt so much if you perceive that
something has changed. You realize you
are no longer part of his story. Or
should I inject humor, you are now
history! Love is for real and not for
fun.
Sometimes
we have the tendency to beg for love and affection, beg for time and attention, beg for his precious moment, beg for something even if time is
unfavorable. Just beg for his presence
and you do everything to your powers to hold him back yet of no avail. Then you try to hybernate and cry … and
eventually accept the pain of separation,
process, validate and confirm by
letting go and moving on.
This
is painful. You feel self - pity and
humiliation. You feel belittled out of
begging. You feel that you don’t deserve
this kind of treatment. You feel empty
and incomplete forgetting that you are a complete person even without someone you
love. Why this kind of feeling? Why the
pain of rejection? Why all of a sudden
you feel being dumped upon or just pushed aside without saying goodbye.
“How
soon the flame of love can die, how soon
good night becomes goodbye.”
Every
hello comes a painful goodbye. But it
will leave you stronger and a better person.
The joy of loving, the joy of
knowing one person that touch your heart,
mind and soul and now part of your story.
Why
do you feel happy if he loves you? What
is the difference if he loves you or he loves you not? Happiness is an inside
job. It is within us. Even if he loves you or he loves you
not, will it make you happy? Will it make a difference of your being?
When
you say I LOVE YOU be ready if you hear back I LOVE YOU TOO. Stand by it,
fight for it and die for it. If
you don’t hear it back, at least you
love, at least you are happy loving
someone. Love comes in an unexpected
moment just like a butterfly that alights on your shoulder. If there is love, embrace it with love. Trust that the love will last, now and forever.
He
loves me, he love me not!
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